I know we all experience the Are we good enough or not feelings at some point or another...
Here lately I am having that Not Good Enough Thought more than I should... I know it's just something I have to deal with.. and Push Past.. but Damn it gets hard at times.
I know I am GOOD ENOUGH... but been replaying things in my head and it sucks.
Have you had the I'm not a good enough mom, wife, sister, friend, employee thought?
I sometimes get overwhelmed with the thoughts of I'm not good enough.. or not trying hard enough or whatever it may be.
I want to do everything in my power to be the best mom I can... but sometimes feel I let my kids down since me and their dad got divorced and oculdnt make it work. and now they are stuck in this pattern of back and forth, and I blame myself.
I want to be the best wife to Danny, I obviously screwed up somewhere along the way the first time... I don't want to this time. I want him to know I am here for him always no matter what.
When it comes to the not good enough friend...well OVERALL.. I'm the BEST DAMN friend my friends have.. I'm always the one they can come cry to, laugh with etc.. no matter what they may or may not have done for me or too me or whatever.. but i guess when i start feeling like the left our friend i start the not good enough mind frame.. ughhh but anyways...
Not good enough employee - well this one is probably what got me thinking so hard today... see for over a year now i've been lookng of a perm teaching job.. and after teaching for four years and subbing this last year you'd think I could get a job.. but beginning to think I must NOT BE GOOD ENOUGH - though every year my kids pass TAKS etc.. what am I doing wrong? What am I saying wrong in the interviews? I JUST DONT KNOW Anymore.. it makes me upset, tense, stressed, and just plain PISSED OFF that I can't seem to find a job. I know some of the problem is the last school I taught at (not the one i subbed at all this past year)... but the one I really was a contracted teacher at... the principal went on an ego power trip and seemed nothing I did was good enough :( and I ended up leaving that school.
So anyways here I am still trying to find where I fit in... I have such a love for students and learning yet I am stuck here not able to find a job, while peopel are getting hired on that do not even want to be teaching.. ugh
So GOOD ENOUGH or NOT GOOD ENOUGH... I know I am good enough in eveyone of the above places.. I just sometimes let things bother me soooo bad.. and then get upset over it all.
but hopefully I can just realize I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!! and NOONE can take that away from me!
thanks for reading everyone.. i just needed to get this off of me