This is probably one of my favorite days of the week... and its all thanks to SHELL.
So anyways you have all already read stuff bout my wonderful EX (insert sarcasm here)! but he still gets my blood boiling... and ugh I have to vent again...
So here is the story.. He thinks he is the WORLDS BEST DADDY... yet my kids would rather stay with me and see him on weekends only instead of the week to week thing we do. But see here is the problem.. he can't stand to think someone else is doing more than him.. though DANNY does way more for my kids than X does. He is coachin my girls softball team, he gets them things they want/need, (as stupid as letting them pick out a $1 book in the scholastic book thing) their daddy NEVER lets them order out of.. I know that may not be important but still to the kids those lil things matter. that is just one example of MANY...
Well Friday ... we all had it out.. I asked X for some money for the girls' ALL STAR stuff.. and of course that turned into a fight. That turned into a bigger argument where he basically tells me how crappy a mom I am and to get off my butt and do something for my kids, and quit letting DANNY step in and take care of MY kids... I have been workin all year subbing instead of a perm job.. so not making the money I was last year.. things have been tough.. but I NEVER ask money from him. He preceeds to call my husband and idiot and many other things. I am always going out of my way (Because they are MY KIDS).. to pick them up or do whatever when he calls.. well as of friday I said NO MORE. am I wrong for that?
For over a year and half I have sent two suitcases of clothes every week to his house.. makin sure they always have what they need (he will even call me and ask for things if they are not in the bag) let me insert here also.. we only live bout 10-15 min apart... side by side cities. So I told him starting this next week I was not going to send ANYTHING he could go but stuff and make sure they had clothes to wear. NOw also let me say this.. I get NO child support or anything from him.. we have shared custody where they stay with me from FRI to FRI and then him till the next Fri. So everything is suppose to be 50/50 basically but it is NOT!
I will not say he does NOTHING for the kids but he doesnt go out of the way to help with them or do much extra.
SO during the fight over the phone between me, X & Danny... danny let him know he willno longer put up with him putting me down and making me feel like crap.. that he should respect me as his kids mom.. and Danny will not deal with him treating me like shit anymore now that I am married to him. Wasnt pretty at all. My X is one of those everything is either BLACK or WHITE.. NO inbetween areas.. his way usually or its not right.
SO anyways now that friday is almost here, I wonder am I wrong for wanting to send the kids with basically only one outfit a piece plus what they wear that day? Do i contnue to let him have his way and never do anything More?
SORRY this was so long everyone... if you made it this far.. thanks for reading.. Just needed to get some of that off my chest!
Yall are awesome friends!
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Sadly that sounds a litle like my dad.
ReplyDeleteDon't back down...it's a control thing. Make him own up and take responsibility for his kids. How come you never took him to court for child support? I know it's tough my mom never did even though she coulda soaked him....lol no I'm not bitter :)
Stand your ground. This is such a tough situation to go throw. :)
I think you are doing the right then. He needs to chip in. You're not getting support, so why should everything fall on you? And bravo to Danny for sticking up for you!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great idea to only send one outfit. helloooo!!! You're not getting child support, so he should be doing his part when the kids are with him. I think it would be different if the kids were only there for a weekend (which is what my sister and I did as a kid, was with my dad every other weekend, so we packed a bag just for the weekend) but they are there for an entire week. The fact that he is giving you shit for anything is just a control issue, and a laziness one! Let him be as much of a parent as you are, and see what it means to actually take on his own responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is awesome that Danny is sticking up for you. Glad to hear you have a good man! :)
Definitely only send 1 outfit. Since everything is 50/50 (supposedly) it's his job to clothe them when he is in their care. I hope everything works out!
ReplyDeleteUgh... completely frustrating especially when things are supposed to be 50/50. Good for you for finally sticking up to him, and getting Danny's support as well. He sounds fantastic :)
ReplyDeleteI'm all for one outfit.
ReplyDeletehow old are you kids? maybe tell them that it's time to let daddy be responsible while they are with him... and he should provide clothes (BONUS _ they get to go shopping?) he will NOT make them wear the same clothes for a week - so it will FORCE him to do something... I say stick to your guns!
and yes - BRAVO for Danny!!!!! YOU my friend have a KEEPER! :) trust me, not alot of guys will do that...
I'm glad to hear your husband is totally in your corner and supporting you in trying to get this important point through your ex's thick head.
ReplyDeleteHe should definitely have clothes and other things for the kids at his place since they spend 50% of their time there. I mean, his home should feel like their home too and I'm sure it can't be very comfortable for them to always be bringing a suitcase to their father's house. It should seem like they live there, since they do 50% of the time.
Hopefully, he'll step up and buy them some clothes that they can keep at his house. Making them shuffle a suitcase that you pack each week isn't fair to them.
Listen to an old woman.. I went through what you are going through.. except after the shiny wore off, he rarely kept her.. but...
ReplyDeleteThe "NOT HER DAD" Dude.... did.. and bought for her.. and took her places.. and loved her like his own...
and...
When the big day came... She asked her.."NOT HER DAD" to walk her down the aisle...
so remember,, they remember.. they know who loves them.. and who uses them for revenge...
they know... don't sweat it! THEY KNOW!
Oh, he should TOTALLY be pitching in more for clothes, etc. if you are not getting child support! I would be all up in his grill over that, so I think you're right to put your foot down. I'm glad your husband is standing behind you!
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